Deep in the Heart of...Texas?!

The family obligation that originally caused me hesitation in booking my flight to this adventure got pushed up a day, and I had to find a flight back home a day early. Although I was sad to leave our extended stay in Soul Talk Land, I must admit, it really did solve several challenges I would face on my solo day at Myrtle Beach between when the Mystic left with her car in the morning and my flight at 8pm. I started my last day at the beach with the “Texas Sisters”, three sweet, classy women with a lot of love for each other and of life! While each had their own special personality, the love of family exuded from each one of them. During our mini-visits, I learned about two of them, including their relationships with one another, their children, spouses, and family. I found that I share my name with their mother – Shirley Ann. Again, I felt connected to these strangers through conversation accumulating to not more than an hour total.

While I hoped they felt the gift of that connection too, I didn’t know, and before they left, they gifted the Mystic and me a few things. First, a message to the Mystic that what she is doing on her Soul Journey is something quite special, to one of the Texas Sisters in particular. “I’m gonna follow her blog for sure!” she exclaimed. I wished my friend could hear this for herself, but made sure to tell her when we met for breakfast at the hotel. Breakfast that was given to us by the three Texas Sisters, who were readying for their departures and couldn’t use their SIX free breakfast coupons for the day.

“Now Shirley, we know you can’t use all of these yourselves,” sister Katie* explained, “but we trust that you will find people to share them with, that’s the only condition.” I thanked the two remaining sisters for the breakfast gifts and for sharing time with me over our stay together. We hugged goodbye, sending well-wishes to each other, and out their door I went, just slightly worried I would not be able to fulfill their parting wishes, as everyone seemed to have these free breakfast coupons except for the Mystic and me!

After being seated for breakfast with my friend, I spied a father and daughter at the free coffee bar. The little girl’s eyes peering into the restaurant, then looking up at her dad. I saw him shake his head, but near as I could tell, no words were spoken. I jumped up from the table in a flash and darted out to the recipients of the Texas Sisters’ remaining free breakfasts. Sure enough, I found the one party of four that also did not have these seemingly plentiful free meal coupons! They were as delighted to receive them as I was to give them, with a silent wink and nod to the generosity of the three big-hearted Texans.

The Mystic and I planned our remaining hours together in Myrtle Beach, on the beach as the top priority, leaving just enough time to stop for the gifts I hadn’t shopped for yet on the way to the airport. Our last day at the beach warrants its own post, which I will share soon. After a shower and packing, I headed outside to pay for my checked bag online (which I would check for real this time) and check in with my “New York” friends, who had just purchased a house outside of the touristy part of Myrtle Beach.

“Congratulations, again!” I told one half of the pair, as his mate was engaged in deep conversation with another traveler friend. He asked me this and that while I toiled away with unresponsive airline websites, completely distracted from the connection he was attempting to make.

“Do you need a ride or anything on your last day here?!” he asked. This stopped me in my tracks. I had been slightly worried about the next day, which was now not happening, and realized I would have had nothing to worry about. I have been so used to giving throughout my life, I have not allowed myself to receive much in return, even when it’s freely given, right in front of me! My day, this trip, the last few months, and then recent years flashed through my mind. How many gifts have I turned away from, just because I did not feel worthy of receiving? How many gifts have others withheld because they didn’t feel their gifts were worth giving? Why have so many of us been so judgmental of our own and each other’s worth?

Ma always says, “never look a gift horse in the mouth”, meaning “when receiving a gift, be grateful for what it is; don't imply you wished for more by assessing its value,” according to The Phrase Finder. I have been given so many gifts throughout my life and yet have felt a lack when it comes to receiving what I want. This trip alone has gifted me so much, and at this moment, I vow to allow myself to truly receive from this point forward. And yes, before this moment, I would have unquestionably said I have never judged a gift bestowed upon me. I now know that is not true either. I am grateful for this gift of new awareness, which allows me to let go of another layer of judgment and faulty conclusions, and truly receive.

And that's all I'm asking for...from this day forward.

If you haven't already, please check out my friend's Myrtle Beach experience for her take on this co-creation of a trip!

*Name has been changed

For anyone who struggles with receiving, this is a great video on steps to ease yourself into it. Don't let the title fool you, love is at the core of everything, but includes all those physical things we want too!

My Dark Night of the Soul Journey here at That's All I'm Asking For...was necessary to reach where I am today. While I am still working through the residue of a lifetime of beliefs and behaviors that no longer serve me, I am so grateful to be the most authentic version of myself I have ever known. If you're curious, please join me as I continue this adventure of me. It has been a journey worth taking, for sure!