Bob* and Dale*…oh my! Although I keep typing Chip and Dale, for continuity’s sake, I’ll stick with the Mystic’s alias choices here. These two were a hoot! A flirtatious, comedic tag-team of generational camaraderie camped out at Jimmy Buffet’s Margaritaville who greeted us with their humor immediately. In-between their liners and schtick, they let their guard down for moments of real. In my old age, I am finding how much I dearly love silliness and whimsy, but I require pieces of authenticity sprinkled in to make true connection. Bob and Dale did not disappoint!
NPR’s, The Photojournalist discusses The
Secret Meaning of Tattoos:
“Tattoos may be skin deep, but
their significance sometimes goes deeper. The messages sent by body art are an
individual's self-expression, but there are recurring motifs that can often
tell you something about the wearer.”
While I saw no such art on what little skin Bob was showing,
Dale’s body art provided messages about who he is and what he values. After sharing
the evening together, the Mystic and I got a snippet of
these people as they chose to present themselves. The images and words
of Dale’s chosen medium of self-expression did not seem to match his outward behavior. And neither did mine. My big smile and laugh (my forms of
self-expression) masked the pain, confusion and heartache I was experiencing during
that time. Neither one of those gentlemen had any idea they were sharing time
with such a counterfeit.
The difference is, that I am not my pain, confusion or
heartache. I feel those things, I don’t be them. My suspicion
that who Dale be was not something he was willing to share. I felt my
suspicion was correct, as when saying our good-byes, I was met with the pleading
eyes, a mirror of my own, of a kid who just wants to be seen for who he is.
While his voice was simply delivering kind, parting well-wishes, his eyes were
asking “Please see me, please tell me I’m ok”. And so, I did. I told Dale
that he’s got a lot of years ahead of him, that there is no one else like him
in the world, and the world needs him to shine his light in only the way that
he can. And as I spoke those words to Dale, I spoke them to myself. There is no
one else like me in this whole damned place and the world needs my light too. I
want to be seen and valued for the unique person that I am. I want to feel that I’m
ok.
And that's all anyone can ask for...always.
If you haven't already, please check out my friend's Myrtle Beach experience for her take on this co-creation of a trip!
*Names have been changed
My Dark Night of the Soul Journey here at That's All I'm Asking For...was necessary to reach where I am today. While I am still working through the residue of a lifetime of beliefs and behaviors that no longer serve me, I am so grateful to be the most authentic version of myself I have ever known. If you're curious, please join me as I continue this adventure of me. It has been a journey worth taking, for sure!
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