Skip to main content

Shine Your Light!




Bob* and Dale*…oh my! Although I keep typing Chip and Dale, for continuity’s sake, I’ll stick with the Mystic’s alias choices here. These two were a hoot! A flirtatious, comedic tag-team of generational camaraderie camped out at Jimmy Buffet’s Margaritaville who greeted us with their humor immediately. In-between their liners and schtick, they let their guard down for moments of real. In my old age, I am finding how much I dearly love silliness and whimsy, but I require pieces of authenticity sprinkled in to make true connection. Bob and Dale did not disappoint!

NPR’s, The Photojournalist discusses The Secret Meaning of Tattoos:

“Tattoos may be skin deep, but their significance sometimes goes deeper. The messages sent by body art are an individual's self-expression, but there are recurring motifs that can often tell you something about the wearer.”

While I saw no such art on what little skin Bob was showing, Dale’s body art provided messages about who he is and what he values. After sharing the evening together, the Mystic and I got a snippet of these people as they chose to present themselves. The images and words of Dale’s chosen medium of self-expression did not seem to match his outward behavior. And neither did mine. My big smile and laugh (my forms of self-expression) masked the pain, confusion and heartache I was experiencing during that time. Neither one of those gentlemen had any idea they were sharing time with such a counterfeit.

The difference is, that I am not my pain, confusion or heartache. I feel those things, I don’t be them. My suspicion that who Dale be was not something he was willing to share. I felt my suspicion was correct, as when saying our good-byes, I was met with the pleading eyes, a mirror of my own, of a kid who just wants to be seen for who he is. While his voice was simply delivering kind, parting well-wishes, his eyes were asking “Please see me, please tell me I’m ok”. And so, I did. I told Dale that he’s got a lot of years ahead of him, that there is no one else like him in the world, and the world needs him to shine his light in only the way that he can. And as I spoke those words to Dale, I spoke them to myself. There is no one else like me in this whole damned place and the world needs my light too. I want to be seen and valued for the unique person that I am. I want to feel that I’m ok.

And that's all anyone can ask for...always.

If you haven't already, please check out my friend's Myrtle Beach experience for her take on this co-creation of a trip!

*Names have been changed


My Dark Night of the Soul Journey here at That's All I'm Asking For...was necessary to reach where I am today. While I am still working through the residue of a lifetime of beliefs and behaviors that no longer serve me, I am so grateful to be the most authentic version of myself I have ever known. If you're curious, please join me as I continue this adventure of me. It has been a journey worth taking, for sure!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Deep in the Heart of...Texas?!

The family obligation that originally caused me hesitation in booking my flight to this adventure got pushed up a day, and I had to find a flight back home a day early. Although I was sad to leave our extended stay in Soul Talk Land, I must admit, it really did solve several challenges I would face on my solo day at Myrtle Beach between when the Mystic left with her car in the morning and my flight at 8pm. I started my last day at the beach with the “Texas Sisters”, three sweet, classy women with a lot of love for each other and of life! While each had their own special personality, the love of family exuded from each one of them. During our mini-visits, I learned about two of them, including their relationships with one another, their children, spouses, and family. I found that I share my name with their mother – Shirley Ann. Again, I felt connected to these strangers through conversation accumulating to not more than an hour total. While I hoped they felt the gift of that connect...

Send Me On My Way!

* Two years ago, I started a new blog, Soul Aligned Scripts , which (as of this writing) consists of a whopping ONE post! It is a fantastic, true story of real joy wrapped up in my awesome ridiculousness – totally and completely ME . I wrote that during a time that I was discovering myself after years of being who I thought everyone else needed me to be, and who I needed to be to protect myself from the big-bad boogeyman, also known as my negative, scary, uncomfortable feelings . Even after experiencing such joy and learning about myself and others along the way, which brought so much sparkle into my life, it didn’t take long for me to revert back to my small self. You know, the scared, angry, resentful, controlling me that couldn’t create or maintain “sparkle” even with a warehouse full of fireworks at my disposal. Nope, I simply was not ready. I still had much to acknowledge, heal and release. That’s All I’m Asking For… is the chronicle of my most recent Dark Night of the Soul Jour...

Into the Mystic

My first full day ocean-side started early. They all started early. Between 4:30 and 5:30am seemed my vacation rising time and I had no choice but to go with it! The sunrise was brilliant, the ocean breeze solidified my wide-awakeness and I got to see all the goings-on that most vacationers miss. Activities like lifeguards setting up the beach chairs and umbrellas temporary beach-bums like my bestie and I would later rent for the day. Hotel staff cleaning the pool and enjoying the sunrise with me, and a few other early-risers walking the beach and watching all the birds dive and glide in the breeze. When I served as the opening barista at our local coffee shop, I reveled in catching glimpses of early-morning phenomena I was one of few to see from my vantage point, and I loved it. It felt like secret sensory treasures, gifted for my eyes only. My early beach mornings felt similar, but surprisingly, I was not by any means alone at those ungodly hours! It also gave me time to meet new “...